Today I would like to discuss one of the psychological aspects of well-being, your expectations. As a personal trainer, a good amount of time spent during my initial conversation with any prospective client concerns their goals and expectations. While many have a similar goals regarding their training (weight loss, be healthy, gain strength, etc.); I have noticed that there is a wide variety of expectations toward the achievement of those goals, what an exercise program consists of, and what will happen along the way.
Expectations are your preconceived notions of what is going to occur, and are especially important when you are trying something new. This is because your expectations will be the only basis of comparison for the new experience. These preconceptions cannot be helped, but they can be tempered, and they will most likely change throughout the process. The more misconceived they are, the more difficult the psychological adjustment will be, and the harder it will be to remain dedicated.
The pitfall of misconceived expectations is that they can lead to let downs and the acceptance of failure. I have stopped counting how many times that I have heard someone tell me that they do not do something because they are not good at it; or even worse, that they cannot do it. More often than not, that individual lost the battle that they had with their expectations. They went in thinking it would be easy, or that it would take a specific amount of time. When they found out they were wrong, they gave up. It happens more than you think. For the record, you will probably be pretty bad at something when you first try it. I cannot guarantee that you will be able to master it, but I can guarantee that you will not get any better if you give up.
I am not going to go so far as to say that you can do anything if you try hard enough. That is actually another unrealistic expectation. We all have limits that we will never overcome, regardless of our efforts, mindset, or training technique. There are other unrealistic expectations which many of us seem to share, and are to be avoided if at all possible. Do not expect something to be easy because someone else seems to do it with ease. More often than not, that ease has come from years of dedication and practice. Furthermore, do not expect to be able to do something just because someone else is capable of it.
Expectations are the balance of hopes and self-awareness. Keep an open mind if you want your expectations to be great. Temper them with the reality of the situation, distinguish them from hopes and dreams, and allow them to change as you become educated by experience. A good personal trainer can train you for a marathon, but no program will make an average joe into an olympic medalist in six months. Make sure to differentiate between goals and deadlines. If you have spent the last five years sitting on the couch and eating without self-control, a three-month diet plan will not give you a perfect beach body, regardless of how quickly your vacation is coming up.
When it comes to physical adaptation, there will be setbacks and plateaus to fight through; and there will be bad days when you seem to regress. Make the best of it, and keep pushing yourself. Each challenge that you overcome will make you stronger, better able to take on the next obstacle that comes along, and closer to your goals.
Many of my clients seem to beat themselves up when they make a mistake. Whether it is during an exercise, a meal of their diet program, or even being a few minutes late for an appointment; that mistake consumes their focus. Sometimes they dwell on it, and even use it as a reason to make another mistake (especially when it comes to healthy eating). Going back to the last post, it seems to come from an unrealistic expectation that effort guarantees success.
